Death

The Specter of Death

The Specter of Death

I saw death as a specter standing in the doorway. I saw it as an element in the room, a mist, a spirit. It is something that is part of life; something that is with us all the time. Then I saw my own death, as something that is imminent. I had a lot of reactions to that. I recognized later that they were the stages of grieving. And I came out at the end accepting my death and not being attached to how long I’m alive. The events showed me how attached I am to the things I do. But I came out feeling less attached; that the things I do are not very important compared to the fact of simply living. It is enough to be alive in this moment.

I turned on the love and left the faucet running. I pictured the bathtub in the basement filling up and overflowing and filling up the basement and then running into the room where I was sitting. Everyone started splashing around in the love and having a great time.

I saw a light circuit. I saw lines of light connecting everyone. It was a lattice and the more I looked at it, the more complex it was.

I was aware of the spirit moving and that (like my experience decades ago in a spirit-filled Baptist church) people more experienced than I understood the spirit had a will to do something that I was unaware of. Simply responding to my awareness of the spirit in the room might shift what was supposed to happen to a lesser manifestation of the spirit.

We were planted here by other beings. We are being watched, guided, raised. A multitude stands around us ministering to us. A host is ready at any moment to help us. It is possible to talk to them, but it is in another frequency; in a way we are not looking for, that we would not think to be aware of. Their reality is completely separate from ours. It is like a line cutting through crossways, a plane cutting through our reality. If we knew to look for it, we could carefully pop into it and then travel in that plane. I heard them talking to me during the music. They would go, “squawk, squawk, squawk” in moments between stanzas in the music.

I was aware of motion changing my reality.

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Constance ‘Connie’ Long Parks

Constance ‘Connie’ Long Parks
August 11, 1923 — January 23, 2007

The Baby (last born and last living of 15 siblings), Wife, Mother, Widower, Grandmother, Great-Grandmother, Friend to Many, Thespian, Adventurer, World Traveler.Constance Long was born in Greenville, S.C., and grew up in Union, S.C.As a young adult, Connie headed off from her hometown to New York City. After she spent several years in her twenties pursuing those “lights on Broadway,” Connie worked for Delta Airlines and headed to the West Coast where she met her husband, Theodore “Ted” Clifton Parks, in Sacramento, Calif., where he worked for United Airlines.They both enjoyed careers in the travel industry that ignited their joy of traveling and experiencing the new and far off. Continue reading
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Brad’s Chop Salad

Ingredients:

Use roughly equal amounts by bulk of the following ingredients. The idea is to create a colorful, artful arrangement of ingredients with no single dominant flavor; a tantalizing mix of flavors in every mouthful.

Red Onion
Cabbage
Carrots
Broccoli
Red Leaf Lettuce
Pecorino Romano

Preparation:
Dice the red onion 1/4″ wide and as thin as possible. Chop cabbage into 1/8″ strips as long as can be made with the leaves. Grate the carrots into strips 1-2″ long. Chop the red leaf lettuce into 2″ squares. Shave the broccoli flower and stalk. Finely grate the Pecorino Romano.

Instructions:
Toss all ingredients in a large bowl until they are completely heterogeneous. Keep in a hard plastic container until it is to be consumed. This mix can easily last a work week if carefully refrigerated and not exposed to dressing until served.

Dressing:
1 TBSP balsamic vinegar
1/4 C olive oil
Pinch of sea salt

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Sri Kanta’s Chai

Masala:
Whole cloves
Pepper corns
Fresh ginger crushed
Cinnamon sticks
“A lot, lot, lots of these.” Boil in just enough water to cover the ingredients.

Tea:
Lightly smoke in a hot pan darjeeling or assam tea leaves. Then steep in water.
Combine tea and masala. Add fresh ground cardamom, stir and let sit five minutes.
Discard solids. Add milk and sugar.

My ears pricked when I heard Srikanta refuse a particular pizza topping because it wasn’t ayervedic. He explained he had been living with his dad the last year and his dad strictly adhered to ayurvedic food paring rules in his cooking. I asked if he knew how to make chai. Srikanta started reeling off instructions. As soon as he said, “Lightly smoke the tea leaves … ” I said, “Wait a minute. I am going to run out to my car, get a pad of paper, come back and take this down. Do you mind?”

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Paul’s Honey Mustard Balsamic Salad Dressing

2 TBSP brown sugar
2 tsp salt
1 tsp garlic paste
2 tsp molasses
8 tsp honey mustard
1 C olive oil
4 TBSP balsamic vinegar
2 TBSP wine vinegar
½C water

My interest in vinaigrette was aroused by Bradley Lechman-Su’s mixture of 1 TBSP balsamic vinegar and ¼C olive oil that he prescribes for his chop salad. Such a mixture is rather Zen in its wholesome simplicity and I think it performs well supporting rather than upstaging fine quality salad ingredients. I decided I needed something with more pizzazz for work-a-day salads. I made a mustard variation that I loved and then – can you believe it — I couldn’t reproduce it. I played with variations for months. I came close to what I had, but I wasn’t satisfied. I asked Horatio and Jessie Diamond to taste my latest generation and each of them recommended a touch of wine vinegar. I added that and – wow! It was finished.

I always use real brown sugar rather than the stuff with molasses added back into it. They have iodized sea salt now. The brand of garlic paste makes a big difference. Fresh crushed fresh rose clove garlic would be optimal. My favorite preserved stuff is Gourmet Garden and second favorite is Christopher Ranch. I am still working on a jar of black strap molasses I bought years ago from a co-op. Good luck finding its equal. I only use Beaver Foods honey mustard. There is a huge difference between brands of honey mustard. Beaver Foods brand is the hottest I have sampled. If you care about your heart, you will use only virgin cold pressed olive oil. If you you care about the flavor of the oil, you could make a life time study of oils from Italy alone. I have to admit I have never bucked up the money to use high quality balsamic vinegar. I have never seen anything other than generic wine vinegar offered in the stores where I shop. You could spend another lifetime researching different balsamic vinegars. If you care about the Earth, please stop using bottled water. If you don’t like the way your tap water tastes, try a filter. How about one of those low tech sand filters? If that doesn’t work, you could treat it with bleach. The taste of bleach should dissipate if you let it sit overnight in an open container.

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Jessie’s Garlic Bread

 

Jessie is such a good cook and skilled at so many dishes (Her turkey gumbo is my perennial favorite.), it is something of a slight to attribute to her such a simple preparation. But I can’t help asking her to make the bread this way every time we have dinner together. Each time, I am amazed all over again how good the bread tastes under her personal care. I think this illustrates the fact that food need not be complicated in order to be exquisite.

1 Baguette
1/2 C Butter
2 Cloves Garlic

One must start with good quality, fresh bread. If you care enough to seek out a loaf so fresh that the crust is crispy and the inside is moist, then we are talking the same language. Le Panier used to make a miche that will remain my favorite even though the company and its products passed out of existence years ago. Grand Central’s Como comes the closest to that heavenly mixture of fluffy, spongy, chewy body with substantial weight that remains the gold standard in my mind’s eye. Their Rustic Baguette and Ciabatta are also nice. Marsee’s Ciabatta and Pugliese are my next most favorite, but these loaves are a little dryer and flatter.

Jessie slices the bread at a severe diagonal to its length. This will render ovals with acutely angled crust edges, 2cm thick. This maximizes the surface area upon which you are to spread the butter.

Fresh garlic is preferable to cured garlic for this preparation because it contains more fluid and will therefore release the most flavor over a short cooking time. My favorite is the rose garlic grown and sold uncured by Morning Star Farm. (Hey, what can I say, it’s my brother’s organic vegetable farm.)

Jessie peels and then minces the garlic as fine as is possible with a sharp knife. When I help her out, she always sends me back to dice the garlic a little finer.

I try to stick with organic butter because animal fats are the main vectors by which we consume toxins. I prefer to use salted butter rather than unsalted. Unfortunately, I have found no butter in America that is as tasteful as standard faire in France. Butter here doesn’t have much more character than cooking oil! Do not keep butter in the refrigerator. It is untenable to work with refrigerated butter. Butter will not begin to spoil for weeks at room temperature and when it does spoil, it just starts smelling and tasting more like cheese. I keep a half-cup cube on the counter at a time and never have a problem consuming it free of spoilage.

Jessie whips the minced garlic into the butter with a fork and then spreads a generous amount on each slice of bread. You want enough butter on the bread to prevent it from drying out on the grill. I notice that the butter knife tends to ride on the grains of garlic in the butter, thereby creating a layer of butter that is at least as thick as the largest grains of garlic. You want at least this much butter on the bread. You need not worry about spreading on too much butter, the excess will simply drip off the bread and burn on the grill.

I keep a gas grill out back and throw water-soaked vine maple rounds on the burner for smoke. I start up the grill and leave it on high for some minutes in order to get the wood smoking before I lay in the bread. Then I turn down the heat to somewhere between medium to medium-low and place the bread on the grate opposite the ignited burner. This way I get a smoky oven effect. I find that indirect flame is a lot more forgiving than direct flame. I can walk away from the bread and not worry about it scorching or drying out too much.

If you have the flame adjusted correctly, it should take 15-20 minutes to toast the bread. You should pull it from the flame when it just begins to brown around the edges. If you get everything right, the bread should be slightly crunchy on the outside and still moist on the inside; dripping with butter, fragrant with garlic.

Dig in while it is hot!

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Paul’s Buttermilk Dressing

Paul’s Buttermilk Dressing
Are you tired of trying to find a salad dressing in the store that doesn’t contain artificial flavors or MSG? Try my alternative. It is nothing but the basics, yet it tastes so bright and lively:
1C mayonnaise
1C buttermilk
2 TBSP Dijon mustard
2 TBSP crushed garlic
2 TBSP horseradish
3 tsp ground pepper
1 tsp vinegar
1/2 tsp salt

Now, be careful picking out the ingredients too! It is a stretch to find mayonnaise that doesn’t have a long list of unintelligible ingredients. Forget Nalley’s. Try looking at the off brands. I find (for instance) that Fred Meyer brand mayonnaise is nothing more than the basic ingredients. For that matter, this is the perfect application for homemade mayonnaise (which tends to come out a little runny compared to store bought): whip up 2 eggs yolks, 1.5C oil (safflower, soy or olive), 2 TBSP vinegar, salt and mustard to taste, in a food processor. I eschew all but fresh crushed garlic, but crushed from the jar is better than cloves-gone-rubbery . Just don’t use the chopped garlic! I am convinced they make that stuff with reject or unripe cloves. There is no horseradish like Beaverton Foods Brand for strength and flavor. Normally I would rail about the prevalence of coarse ground pepper on the market (which in most applications yields about half the flavor and thereby encourages one to consume twice as much), but in this instance it works just as well as fine ground if the dressing sits in the refrigerator for any length of time.

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Paul Furnas Parks

In Memoriam Paul Parks, Sr.
5/21/24 – 10/26/00


He finally got his nap. Not the 30-minute kind that falls between a long Sunday afternoon working on the back forty and a call to dinner, but that endless, dream-drenched sleep he longed for. When he was 60 he reported feeling virtually the same as 30—except he tired out more quickly. Of course, that was before he was diagnosed with multiple myaloma.

Paul Parks was born a second generation Oregonian in Pendelton, May 21, 1924, to Theodore Clifton Parks and Mary Ester Furnas. He was next to the last child in a family of six. His mother’s parents were one of the original families to pioneer Hermiston, Oregon. But Paul’s parents moved to Portland to follow work while he was still a baby. The house at 42nd and SE Harrison where he grew up still stands in good repair.

Childhood photos of Paul reveal a boy who appears good-natured, fun-loving and self absorbed—traits that were consistent of Paul throughout his life.

He had an early interest in photography, processing his own negatives and prints.

Paul’s sister said that all the kids in the neighborhood followed him to the city pool on Powell one time when he went there to test a diving bell he made. Paul said it worked okay, but was very noisy due to the light gauge tin he used; it expanded and contracted with his breathing.

Paul graduated from Franklin High School. His little sister complained that he made school harder for her. Every teacher who had Paul as a pupil expected exceptional work from her also.

Paul served in the Army Air Force from 1943 through 1946 and was honorably discharged. He was stationed in Lewiston, Idaho, and worked in the weather service.

Paul spent some time as a ship builder and a meat cutter, then was accepted as a student to Reed College. He graduated with a BA in Physics in 1953. Paul stunned his supervisor by building an oscilloscope for his thesis.

Bell Telephone Laboratories, Murray Hill, New Jersey, employed him upon graduation. Paul once recalled an exciting experience when intuition came to his aid. He was working on the design of a machine that read magnetic data tapes and he was trying to solve the problem of maintaining a slack of tape between the spool and the reader. It finally occurred to him that the moving loop of tape acted as a capacitor, its capacitance changing in direct proportion to its length. This feature could be measured and used to automatically regulate the length of the loop.

Paul looked back on his days at Bell Labs regretting he did not better apply himself to his work. “They had so many resources there. I could have gone anywhere with them,” he once lamented. At the time, he was more interested in the weekends: skiing, sailing and singing in the New York Glee Club. He kept the tails he wore the night he performed at Carnegie Hall.

After five years he met the woman he would marry, Carmella Formichella. He said he noticed her walking to work past his house one morning and determined to meet her. He arranged to leave his house for work when he saw her coming, then he offered to give her a ride to work. After courting several months, they married June 29, 1958. For their honeymoon they drove across the United States to Portland, Oregon, where Paul went to work for Tektronix as an engineer.

At Tektronix Paul quickly climbed into management and then administration. He was pulled away from his work in semiconductor development and placed in charge of the chemistry laboratory, the model shop and the library. He worked in recruiting, planning new facilities and organizing research.

Eventually he became frustrated with the politics that seemed to thwart progress on so many projects. He longed for the sense of accomplishment that came with product development. In 1967 he took a position as an engineer again.

Paul got involved in his community. He chaired his local school board. He was an officer on a committee that worked to bring irrigation water to the North Plains area. He became assistant supervisor of the Washington County Soil and Water Conservation District. He was instrumental in establishing an electronics curriculum at Portland Community College. He co-founded a northwest chapter of IMAPS.

In 1972 Paul did some consulting for the locally headquartered company Electro Scientific Industries. He became enamored with the capabilities of its new machine that could fine-tune printed resistors by cutting them with a small laser. When they offered to lease him one of their systems and help him get started doing this work as a service, he leaped at the opportunity. He incorporated P/M Industries in 1973; a medium-size company that is still in operation today.

Paul steadily expanded his operations. He founded TechCeram, a manufacturer of ceramic substrates used in the electronics industry; P/M Laser Products, a manufacturer of semi-automated laser systems; and Pacific Hybrid Microelectronics, a manufacturer of thick film circuits.

Paul was active in the trade organization that fed his businesses, IMAPS, and held numerous positions of merit in it, including the office of president in 1987. Paul wrote and co-wrote nine technical papers that were published in IMAPS technical journals.

In 1991 Paul was diagnosed with multiple myaloma following a routine annual physical. He was told he might live three years if he accepted treatment. After two rounds of chemotherapy failed to control the disease, Paul was accepted into an experimental treatment program that entailed extracting and farming his healthy stem cells, irradiating his remaining stem cells and then reintroducing his healthy cells. Over the course of some years he briefly attained full remission.

But the aggressive therapy took its toll on his body, aging and weakening him. The mental exertion of managing his company became untenable. He handed over control of his business to his youngest son Chris. Paul retired to his farm near North Plains and took up the project of selectively logging his property.

In the fall of 1997, a routine checkup revealed that cancer was active in Paul’s body again. A few months later he suffered a stroke. The following year his kidneys failed and Paul began receiving dialysis three times a week. Paul never fully recovered his speech. His health slowly deteriorated over the next few years. With decreasing mobility, Paul succumbed to pneumonia and died two weeks later, October 26, 2000.

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Funerary

Having buried my Dad in October 2000, I picked up some experience arranging a funeral and home burial. I had the invaluable help of a mentor, who gave me a list of things to consider ahead of time; the pastor of my Dad’s church, who was compassionate and flexible; and a funeral director who was likeable and eager to please. These things helped make the arrangements relatively pleasant and smooth. (Thank you Ralph Bramucci, Jim Blades and Shawn Elliott.)

I suspect most people do not have the benefit of such help and without it, a death in the family is likely to hit them like a ton of bricks. No matter how much you plan ahead, there are certain tasks that must be done after death and before burial, usually in the short space of a few days. Add a little emotion to the picture and you have an event only less tense and hectic than a wedding.

It is my endeavor to pass on the facts of death while they are all fresh in my memory so that my friends may benefit from my experience. Continue reading

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Notes 2000-2002

11/10/02 finished wiring for lights in barn

10/23/02 cut moved logs for dock, sprayed weeds

10/22/02 mowed blackberries in woods

10/21/02 grated driveways

10/11/02 made soap with Brad & Ann

9/27-10/3/02 deer hunting — Five days of hiking 8-10 miles a day and I didn’t even see a deer! Found an Indian cave, brought back a bag of deer bones

9/22/02 completed trellis on barn for morning glories

9/20/02 discovered three more baby rabbits in barn

9/15/02 picked pears

9/12/02 found remains of two baby rabbits in barn

8/21/02 shot a gray digger

8/16/02 shot a gray digger

8/15/02 shot three gray diggers

7/30/02 shot a gray digger

7/24/02 shot a gray digger

7/23/02 shot a gray digger

6/17/02 finished north property line fence

6/15/02 baby robins in barn

6/14/02 saw turtle laying eggs on dam

6/11/02 sprayed grass around barn

6/3/02 set fence posts on north property line

5/24/02 installed deer guards around new apple trees

5/18/02 sowed clover

4/28/02 sprayed blackberries

4/25/02 disked fields; saw first swallow

3/26/02 three baby rabbits peep out of the woodpile

3/25/02 saw humming birds fighting over my feeder

3/20/02 heard first night hawk of the season

2/28/02 saw three deer crossing valley bottom

2/27/02 watching a red-headed woodpecker at work, discerned that woodpeckers bore holes to collect insects rather than to find them

2/22/02 observed coyote near barn

2/14/02 discovered remains of a rabbit

2/13/02 trimmed trees

1/6/02 heard first tree frog of the season

9/15/01 mowed fields

7/9/01 fourth litter of rabbits emerges — uh, wait a minute, make that the fourth and fifth litters

6/26/01 Wine Sap apple tree fell after heavy rains

6/25/01 planted Sudan grass

6/13/01 finished plowing, sprayed grass

6/1/01 mowed fields

5/27/01 transplanted more ferns from field edges to front yard

5/11/01 Kahja brought out three more rabbits

5/5/01 transplanted ferns from field edges to front yard

5/4/01 smoked moles

4/25/01 mounted barn owl boxes in trees around fields, sprayed blackberries

4/12/01 swallows arrive

3/26/01 constructed ten barn owl boxes with the assistance of Brad Lechman-Su

3/20/01 ruby throated humming bird at feeder

1/31/01 observed a red squirrel eating walnut and willow tree buds

1/20/01 saw rabbits mating, bunnies due 2/19

12/6/00 a red-tailed hawk nabbed a gopher from the furrows just as I finished disking

12/4/00 patched barn roof

11/28-30/00 smoked venison sausage

11/28/00 disked east field

11/27/00 tanned deer hide

11/20/00 butchered deer

11/10/00 dressed deer

11/8/00 patched barn roof

10/30/00 back filled water tank pressure

9/25/00 welded disk

9/14/00 heard coyotes take down a sheep

9/13/00 trimmed trees around fields

9/12/00 cleaned fuel line on tractor

9/11/00 patched barn roof

8/4/00     saw bobcat hunting gophers

8/1/00 fields mowed

7/24/00 shot three ground squirrels

7/15/00 built and hung four bat houses

7/13/00 ducklings hatched

6/25/00 sprayed blackberries

6/1/00 trapped a ground squirrel

5/20/00 turtle laid eggs

4/6/00 swallows arrived

3/19/00 painted barn, trimmed trees

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